a president, a King

i know everyone is so over the political posts and commentaries.  me too.  but i just have one thing to say and then i'll be done.

i think it goes without saying that i'm not totally thrilled with the results yesterday.  on the other hand, i'm not surprised.

either way, i had sort of an epiphany yesterday morning.  i was grumbling about the fact that we have a president who has no respect for human life as evidenced by his support of partial birth abortions.  i was sickened by the fact that for 4 more years, the lives of the unborn will go unprotected.

then i went in to get levi out of bed.  and like he does every morning when he sees me, his whole face lit up and he reached for me.  and it hit me like a ton of bricks.  this president didn't protect his life.  but God did.

knowing the laws, the statistics, the societal pressures, it's noting short of a miracle that this wee boy sleeps next to me every night.  it doesn't make sense.  truly, the only explanation is Grace.

and so while our president is still president, our God is still God.  He still sits on His throne, protecting and saving and placing the fatherless into families.

no more despairing or grumbling over here.  just overwhelming thankfulness for such a merciful King.

may 21-25

May 21-25 was one of the most stressful, exciting, anticipation-filled, roller coaster rides of a week that we've ever had!  There are parts of the week that I can't share here, but I need to get the rest of it down on paper before I forget.  It was a great week.  It was also an incredibly hard week.  And it already feels like a lifetime ago.

A little background.  We had spent the previous 6 weeks or so becoming certified through Koinonia Family Services in order to get a wee babe that had been born very early and whose biological brothers were adopted by a girlfriend of mine.  We thought he would be in the hospital for a good 10 weeks or more and that we would have plenty of time to have most of our certification complete by the time he was able to come home.  We would have been wrong.  He was only in the hospital for 5 weeks because he eats like a monster and gained enough weight to leave early.  The plan had been to have him go home with said girlfriend who would act as the emergency foster mom until our certification was complete and allow us to start bonding with him by having him with us during the day.

May 21:  I get a text at noon, just after I left the house to pick up the girls from riding lessons.  It was from my girlfriend, K, and it said, "Social worker is calling you right now!!!!!!!!!!  Baby is ready to come home!!" I think I responded with, "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!"  :)  So the county worker calls me and asks if we're certified and I'm thinking she already knows about the situation so I explain it again and she says, "Ok, well thank you, but I have a few other families I need to call that are already certified."  umm, what??  So I call K and tell her and she calls her workers to see what can be done, but tells me not to worry and that she'll get everything ready to go get him.  We don't hear anything else the rest of the day.

May 22:  I call the sw first thing in the morning to see if she'd made a decision and to explain our situation again....I tell her we're moving really quickly to get certified and that K will gladly take him until then, etc, etc.  She tells me again that she hasn't made a definite decision, but she's leaning toward placing him elsewhere.  At this point, I kind of lose it and start sobbing on the phone.  I feel like I'm pleading with this woman whom I've never met to please let me have this child and hoping and praying that she realizes that the only reason we started this process was for him, specifically.  That he's already loved even though I've never laid eyes on him.  While she had been somewhat dismissive in our earlier conversations, I will say that at this point her tone with me changed completely.  But when we hung up, I didn't feel a lot better about our chances.  That night we went to our final certification class and I tried to hold it together.

May 23:  I call her again {at the urging of friends and other social workers} at 9 am and she tells me, "Sorry.  I've definitely decided to place with this other family.  It's nothing personal, I'm sure you're a great family, but they're already certified."  I called K and she says it's not over until he's placed.  We don't hear anything else all day.  The girls had spent the night at a friend's house and Jake came home early so we went out to lunch.  I cried the whole time and he finally asked for to go boxes and we went home.  I spent the afternoon cleaning horse pens and being angry.  It was not pretty.  My poor husband.  At about 3:30 he yells from across the yard, "I think I hear someone talking on the answering machine inside...it sounds like your mom."  I finish the pen I'm cleaning and then walk into the house, wash my hands and push play on the answering machine.  It says there are 4 messages and the first one that plays is this social worker, "Hi, Cheri!  I'm just calling to let you know that there's been a change of plans.  I'm placing the baby with you!"  And then I think she said some other things, but I didn't hear them over my own screaming!  I pick up my cell phone and see that I have about 4 texts from K and several missed calls from our Koinonia sw.  I call the sw, but she doesn't answer so I return the call from Koinonia and she says, "All I can say is, you're prayers work.  I don't know what happened, but we were told you weren't getting him and and hour ago she called and asked how fast we can have you certified because she's giving him to you!  I'll be at your house at 7 tonight and we'll start your home study!"  Then Jake and I called our moms to tell them what was happening.  We had not told them {or the girls!!} a single thing until now. We wanted to know for sure that it was going to happen before we told very many people.  They were completely shocked and ecstatic!

May 24:  At one point during the week {I don't remember which day} we found out that bebe wasn't actually in the hospital anymore, but had been in an emergency foster home for 2 weeks.  We weren't clear about whether or not they were going to place him with K or keep him where he was until we were certified.  K was definitely our first choice, but we were trying to just be grateful that we would be getting him eventually.  I went to pick up the girls from my friend's and then we were going to run some errands.  I had not allowed myself to buy a single baby item until this point.  I had been trying not to get my hopes up {and failing miserably, by the way!}.  We were driving down Rosedale Hwy and K calls me so I pull over to talk to her.  She tells me that the sw had just called and said she was placing him with her and we could go tomorrow at 1 pm to get him!!!  She told K that I was welcome to come and that I could spend as much time as I wanted with him while he was in her care....the only rule was that he could not spend the night at our house.  I got off the phone and turned to my girls and asked if they'd like to have a baby brother.  They were so excited that I wish I'd had a video camera. :)  We spent the rest of the day shopping for him!  When we got home they made signs {which are still hanging on my bedroom door} that said, "Welcome baby brother!"  That night Jake and I finally made a decision about his name....we agreed it would be Levi Jacob.  I don't think I slept at all this night.  In fact, I think I had slept about 4 hours total since Tuesday night!  :)

May 25:  Jake left early this morning to go out of town.  :(  It had been planned for a full year and a friend was flying in from out of state so they could go to this rodeo together.  I promised to text him pix as soon as we picked him up.  I dropped the girls off at my mom's and then K, another girlfriend, and I headed to DHS to get our boy.  We had been a little worried and friends had warned me that sometimes the emergency homes are not the best.  Sometimes the kids come with nothing.  He might be dirty.  I was trying to brace myself for the worst.  We walked into DHS and see a woman with a car seat and a huge bag of baby items.  She looks like she could be one of our moms.  She smiles and waves to us and points to the car seat and I think the 3 of us all let out a collective sigh of relief!  We sign in and walk over to her and she pulls back the blanket to show us the sweetest, tiniest little boy I've ever seen.  By this point, a couple social workers are standing there with us and a random foster mom who happened to be in the waiting room {she was hilarious and just joined right in!!}.  The emergency foster mom took him out of the car seat, handed him to me and said, "I gave him a bath right before we came.  He wanted to smell good for his mama."  How do you thank someone for that?  How do you thank them for taking care of your child and loving on them until you could come get them?  All I could get out through the tears was, "Thank you!"

We're all so in love with him and now that's it's been 5 months since he came into our lives, I can't imagine how we made it without him!  It seems like he's been here forever.  We're so thankful!

thankful...

for warm "winter" afternoons spent out of doors....

for a horse that taught my girls not to be afraid to ride and whom they've already outgrown....

for a sweet mare of mine that i now have to share with two other girls....

for sleepovers. because they're even more fun at 35 than they were as a kid....

for donuts delivered on a saturday morning by my sweet father-in-law....

for a daughter is who is gradually becoming more aggressive in her basketball games {as in she no longer ducks and covers her head when the ball comes to her. ;)}....

for a free piano and the music made on it by both my girls {lauren is back in piano lessons at her request...it's amazing how different things go when it's her idea!}....

for the new murray mcmurray catalog and the excitement that comes with choosing what to order. it's better than christmas {not the actual meaning of christmas, but you know what i mean}....

for girlfriends that love my children so well and tell them they're beautiful so often that it would be impossible for them to doubt how loved they are....

for learning all about california history the way it should be learned....through field trips and hands-on experiences with our best friends....

for good books {and a kindle that i doubted i would love, but am completely enamored with}....

for a husband who works harder than anyone i know and let's me stay home with our girls. i still can't believe how blessed i am to have him....

for a little girl who almost daily declares, "i am never ever going to live in town!" {this morning she said it while swinging on the swing set with one of our hens on her lap. i love her.}....

for weekends....i pray yours is as blessed!

10 things.

i do not enjoy christmas songs about mary. every other song on my pandora christmas station is about mary. the worst so far: "mary's christmas baby".....a horrific cheese-fest of a song intended to replace {mock?} "merry christmas, baby". there are no words. christian radio and i have a very tumultuous relationship and it is not helped any by christmas music.

a couple months ago jake decided the girls needed a tree house. he worked on it most of yesterday and is almost finished. he says i have to paint it. then he laughs meniacally because he knows i'm terrified of heights.

tomorrow is our 12th anniversary. the other day some girls and i were talking about how if we could re-do our weddings, we'd have changed just about everything. the #1 thing i would've changed is the date. you might think that someone whose birthday is on christmas would've realized that she'd also never have an anniversary if she got married on thanksgiving weekend. you'd be wrong.

tonight is the teddy bear toss at the hockey game. right now jake is out trying to find stuffed animals for us to throw. but first he went and did our banking {my least favorite place in the world to go. seriously.}. i love that man.

we hosted thanksgiving this year for the first time. it was sort of last minute, but surprisingly low-stress. we ate ribs, laughed hysterically with our favorite cousins and watched several episodes of big bang theory. not quite tradtional, but perfect nonetheless.

i have done no christmas shopping. my kids have given me no ideas of things they want. this makes me simultaneously proud and panicked.

the only black friday shopping i ever do is at rite aid. shaving cream, toilet paper and holiday m&m's on sale? now those are my kind of deals!

i'm so thankful that my girls' best friends are all the children of my best friends. i don't think i could do this mom, wife, home-school thing without them. we're studying california history together this year and it has been amazing, fun and educational! we are so blessed!!

we did our history co-op and a math lesson this week and that's it. but we played several games of yahtzee so we'll call it a success.

i should be getting decorations and our trees out right now, but i'm stalling.

happy weekend, friends.

a girl and her hen

In early August, we went to our first 4-H poultry meeting.

The other moms mentioned that the kids have to stand in line and hold their chickens during showmanship at the fair. For an hour or more!

My heart sank. There was no way Lauren was going to be able to do that.

She was terrified of her chicken and I had to bribe/beg/threaten her to hold her inside the coop, even for 10 minutes.

On the way home from that meeting I broke the news to Lauren.

She cried the rest of the way home. And for days afterward. Every time she thought about it she'd say she couldn't do it. Didn't want to do it.

But we kept going to the meetings. I could tell she was trying so hard during the meetings to keep it together in front of the other kids who seemed to be naturals at this whole chicken thing.

She still flinched and yelled out when Elizabeth would flap her wings. She still didn't like being anywhere near the bird's beak or feet. I had to constantly remind her to put her shoulders down and try to relax.

Then one day, she went into the coop without being made to.

She sat on the ground and coaxed Elizabeth into her lap where the bird promptly fell asleep.

That was about 3 weeks ago.

It's been all smiles and hugs and soaring self-confidence since then....

At this morning's meeting our poultry leader said to me, "I cannot believe how far Lauren has come in the last month! She's a different child with that hen! I'm so proud of her!"

And I had to fight back tears. Because I'm so proud of her, too!

Even if she doesn't win. Even if her hen gets disqualified. Even if the judges don't see in Elizabeth what the rest of us do, it's still worth every second and every penny.

The things Lauren has learned have been worth far more than any blue ribbon.

Tomorrow she {and our other Fair hens} get baths.

I'm not sure who will be more traumatized afterwards, me or the hens. :)

Isaiah 41:9

I am reading my way through "Morning and Evening" by Charles Spurgeon for daily devotions and loving it. The man is just plain brilliant! Most days I read both the morning and evening selection in the morning....and I usually have to re-read it 3 or 4 times in order to digest it all. The man can say a lot in just 2 paragraphs! :) I've also heard tell that he was known for preaching 3 hour sermons back in the day! My brain would've bled from information overload! ha!

Anyway, I found today's evening devotion particularly great and thought I'd share...

"...the Lord calls us not only his servants, but his chosen ones - 'I have chosen thee.' We have not chosen Him first, but He hath chosen us. If we be God's servants, we were not always so; to sovereign grace the change must be ascribed. The eye of sovereignty singled us out, and the voice of unchanging grace declared, 'I have loved the with an everlasting love.' Long ere time began or space was created God had written upon His heart the names of His elect people, had predestined them to be conformed unto the image of His Son, and ordained them heirs of all the fullness of His love, His grace, and His glory. What comfort is here! Has the Lord loved us so long, and will He yet cast us away? He knew how stiffnecked we should be, He understood that our hearts were evil, and yet He made the choice. Ah! our Saviour is no fickle lover. He doth not feel enchanted for awhile with some gleams of beauty from His church's eye, and then afterwards cast her off because of her unfaithfulness. Nay, He married her in old eternity; and it is written of Jehovah, 'He hateth putting away.' The eternal choice is a bond upon our gratitude and upon His faithfulness which neither can disown."

P.S. You know how when you've been reading someone's blog and admiring them for a particular reason {like the fact that they're crafty or they homeschool or whatever} and then suddenly you find out something else about them that makes you like them even more? That's how I feel about Lindsey after she posted this. :)

Welcome Spring

Although the gale force winds and rain might suggest otherwise,

the calendar says today is the first day of Spring.

What better way to celebrate than with a sweet surprise in our arena this morning?

St. Patrick's Day {it's about more than green beer}

Things we learned about the true meaning behind St. Patrick's Day:

• St. Patrick was born in France, but was kidnapped by pirates and taken to Ireland where he was sold into slavery. He tended sheep and pigs for a farmer and often ate the pig swill just to survive.
• He prayed more than 100 times per day!
• God called him back to France at age 17 where he trained to become a pastor.
• God called him back to pagan Ireland as a missionary after he graduated.
• Patrick used the clover to illustrate the trinity. One seed, three leaves...One God, three Persons.
• The Irish do not eat corned beef. Ever. Ok, this doesn't really have anything to do with St. Patrick, himself. I don't really know where some of these American traditions came from, but it's interesting how the true meaning of St. Patrick's Day has been almost entirely lost over the centuries {I'm not sure why this surprises me considering what we've done to Christmas and Easter...}. However, thanks to a 5 minute google search and a veggie tales video, we discovered today that there is a really amazing story behind this "holiday" that certainly does bear celebrating!

For there is no other God, nor ever was before, nor shall be hereafter, but God the Father, unbegotten and without beginning, in whom all things began, whose are all things, as we have been taught; and his son Jesus Christ, who manifestly always existed with the Father, before the beginning of time in the spirit with the Father, indescribably begotten before all things, and all things visible and invisible were made by him. He was made man, conquered death and was received into Heaven, to the Father who gave him all power over every name in Heaven and on Earth and in Hell, so that every tongue should confess that Jesus Christ is Lord and God, in whom we believe. And we look to his imminent coming again, the judge of the living and the dead, who will render to each according to his deeds. And he poured out his Holy Spirit on us in abundance, the gift and pledge of immortality, which makes the believers and the obedient into sons of God and co-heirs of Christ who is revealed, and we worship one God in the Trinity of holy name.

~ Confession of St. Patrick

on why i do not celebrate lent...

Because the blogging world is full of posts dedicated to the observance of Lent right now, I thought I'd rock the boat a bit and share why I don't observe it. This post might alternately be titled, "if you didn't know I was Reformed, you do now...." ha.

1. It trivializes the work of Christ. Period! Christ suffered the torments of hell on our behalf. He bore the full weight of God's wrath even though He did nothing wrong. That is suffering! Doing without TV is not!

2. It makes a mockery of God's grace. The idea that we have any power to establish a "closer relationship" with God by giving something up "for" Him is nothing short of works-based righteousness. "Knowing that a man is not justified by the works of the law, but by the faith of Jesus Christ, even we have believed in Jesus Christ, that we might be justified by the faith of Christ, and not by the works of the law: for by the works of the law shall no flesh be justified." Gal. 2:16

3. It would make the Pharisees proud. Lent has got to be the definition of "outward displays of piety". I just don't understand why the whole free world needs to know what a person is "giving up" for God...other than to be congratulated for such "sacrifice". Our Heidelberg Catechism question and answer 91 says, "What are good works? Those only which proceed from true faith and are done according to the law of God, unto His glory; and not such as rest on our own opinion or the commandments of men." {Rom. 14:23, 1 Sam. 15:22, 1 Cor. 10:31, Deut. 12:32, Ezek. 20:18, 20, Num. 15:39}

4. It's "temporary." If the point is to truly find something that is a stumbling block {and I don't believe for a second that most people actually do this...you can't tell me chocolate is actually coming between you and God. Please.} and remove it so that it no longer hinders your relationship with God, then why on earth would you only remove it for 40 days?!

5. It is our sinful heart that separates us from God, nothing else. Not chocolate. Not blogging. Not television. Our sinful heart. And that has already been atoned for on Calvary. "Knowing this, that our old man is crucified with him, that the body of sin might be destroyed, that henceforth we should not serve sin. For he that is dead is freed from sin. Now if we be dead with Christ, we believe that we shall also live with Him." Rom. 6:6-8

*steps down off soap box*

right now i'm...

...super excited about the school calendar that I came up with over the last few weeks! It's a sort of modified year-round schedule. We still have 2 big chunks of "summer vacation", but it allows for more one week vacations during the school year! This is one of those weeks! Hooray! :)

...in denial that emma is old enough to go to church summer camp this year. my mother in law and and i are going to be the camp cooks. you didn't really think i was going to let emma go without me, did you? ;)

...full of heart shaped pancakes!

...thinking that "say yes to the dress" is a great metaphor for all that is wrong with this country. a woman just bought a $12,000 dress {A TWELVE THOUSAND DOLLAR DRESS!! what the what!?!} even though her budget was $4,000. but it's ok because it made her "feel special" and the sale's woman told her she "deserved it." i don't even know what to say. actually, i do. but it's not very nice. ;)

...thankful for wednesday lunches on the grass with dear friends.

...seeing the first beautiful blooms on the almond trees outside our window!

...needing to stock up on allergy pills. sigh.

...planning for our garden and more chicks. and maybe a pig? hmmm.

...thankful for a full egg crate in the fridge after a winter with very few eggs. yay for sunshine and a few 70 degree days!

...sorting and tagging bins and bins of clothes for an upcoming consignment sale. it's the first consignment sale i've ever done. coming up with prices for things stresses me out.

...not watching "hoarders" and "fatal attraction" {people who keep large, wild animals like lions and bears as pets and are ultimately maimed or killed by them}. these shows stress me out. seriously. i don't think it's entertaining on any level to watch other people's crazy. i have enough crazy of my own, thankyouverymuch.

...relieved to have leftover gumbo and red beans and rice from yesterday's church potluck for dinner tonight! yum! it's a fact that we have the BEST pot lucks ever! no jello surprise to be found.

...going to clean/gut lauren's room {again!} now. if you don't hear from me soon, send reinforcements. blerg.

...wishing you a happy valentine's day, friends!

A {Partially} Handmade Christmas: Part I

Everyone on our Christmas list this year is receiving something handmade.

Not all of their gift, but at least part of it was made with love by yours truly {or one or both of the girls}.

The following three recipes were made and given to the assorted teachers, pastors, neighbors and male family members {because I'm pretty sure they wouldn't have adequate appreciation for a headband} in our lives.

Homemade Chocolate Cherry Granola

{This is a recipe I make all the time for us and have adapted from several different ones I've found online. That's the beauty of granola; you can use whatever dried fruits or nuts you want/like/have on hand!}

• 2 cups Quick Oats
• 3T & 1t Canola Oil
• 1/4 cup honey
• 1/4 cup brown sugar
• 1t pure vanilla extract
• 1/2 cup almonds
• 1/3 cup dried cherries
• 1/3 cup chocolate chips

Preheat oven to 325 and line a cookie sheet with parchment paper. Toss oats with cinnamon and salt. Stir oil, honey, brown sugar and vanilla together in a bowl. Combine oats and wet mixture. Pour onto the baking sheet and spread out with a spatula. Bake 10 minutes. Lift and flip granola, add nuts and bake another 5 minutes. Let cool and add cherries and chocolate {I usually add the chocolate immediately because I like it to melt a little. Your choice. There is no granola police that I'm aware of.}

Fill mason jars, add a cute tag and viola! Merry Christmas! :)

Homemade Marshmallows

• 3 packets of unflavored gelatin
• 1 cup of cold water
• 1 1/2 cups of granulated sugar
• 1 cup of light corn syrup
• 1 tsp. salt
• the seeds of one vanilla bean, 1 tbsp. of vanilla extract, or 1 tbsp. of vanilla paste
• 1/4 cup powdered sugar
• 1/4 cup cornstarch
• nonstick spray

First, pour the gelatin into a mixing bowl with 1/2 cup of the cold water. Let that hang out while you get the other stuff ready. In a small saucepan, stir together the other half cup of water, the sugar, the corn syrup, and the salt. Put the lid on, turn the heat up to medium-high, and let it bubble away for about four minutes. Then take the lid off, stick a candy thermometer on the side of the pan, and let it cook another 7-8 minutes until the mixture hits 240 degrees.

Now turn on your mixer that has a whisk attachment and slowly pour the sugar mixture into the gelatin and water. Do this on LOW speed. That sugar is hot. Once it's all incorporated, turn the mixer on high, add the vanilla, and beat for a looooong time, like 15 minutes. The mixture is white and fluffy and gooey and beautiful.

Next, mix the powdered sugar and cornstarch in a small bowl and sprinkle some of it into a 13x9 pan lined with foil and lightly sprayed with cooking spray. Got that? Pan, foil, cooking spray, sugar/cornstarch. Now pour the white fluffy goodness into that prepared pan and sprinkle the top with more sugar and cornstarch. Let it sit uncovered for several hours and even overnight. When the marshmallows have set, put a cutting board on top of the pan, and flip out the marshmallows. You might have to peel off the foil a bit, but that's no big deal. Now take a big sharp knife and cut the marshmallows into strips and then into squares. Cut them as big or as little as you'd like. Toss each piece in the rest of the sugar/cornstarch mixture to keep the marshmallows from sticking together.

I also made a peppermint version by pulverizing a handful of Brach's peppermint candies {in the coffee grinder} and adding it to the cornstarch/powdered sugar mixture. I also added one half tablespoon of peppermint extract and a few drops of red food coloring after pouring the sugar mixture into my KitchenAid. They turned out a pretty pink color and are deliciously minty! :)

Don't be intimidated by the number of steps in this recipe. They were super easy to make and turned out perfectly! Plus, my girls were thoroughly impressed! :)

I filled mason jars with a Spiced Chocolate Chai mix {Nestle hot cocoa mix and Big Train Spiced Chai mix both purchased at Smart & Final. Yum! Thanks for sharing, Steph!} and topped them off with several of these marshmallows.

Sea Salt Caramels

• 1 3/4 cup sugar
• 1 can evaporated milk
• 3/4 cup heavy cream
• 3/4 cup light corn syrup
• 2 Tbsp. butter
• 1/4 tsp. vanilla extract
• 1/2 Tbsp. coarse sea salt
• Oil or cooking spray

Directions

Active time: 30 minutes***
Total time: 1 hour, 30 minutes

In a medium, heavy-bottomed saucepan, bring sugar, evaporated milk, and heavy cream to a boil over medium heat. Add corn syrup and continue cooking until mixture reaches 230°.

Add butter and vanilla; continue cooking, stirring constantly, until caramel reaches 240°. Remove from heat, stir in salt, and carefully pour into a lightly oiled 9" x 13" baking dish (parchment paper in the bottom of the pan is helpful).

Let cool at least 1 hour. Invert onto a cutting board covered with waxed or parchment paper and cut into 1-inch pieces with a sharp, lightly oiled knife. Caramels can be wrapped in waxed or parchment paper or cellophane. (To serve candy-store style, wrap individual pieces in parchment paper and secure the ends with a simple twist. This is terribly time consuming, but pretty impressive looking, I must say!) Store airtight at cool room temperature (around 65°) or in the refrigerator; will keep up to 3 weeks.

***Warning: These are dangerously good and I ate an embarrassing amount considering I don't even like caramel. The hint of salt makes them divine! However, the person that wrote this recipe claiming that they take 30 minutes to make is a liar! It took me no less than one.full.hour of standing at the stove {watching, stirring and adjusting the temp to get it to 230! I stopped counting the minutes after that, but it was another good chunk of time before it reached the final temp of 240! Let's just say if you have an infant or busy toddler, you're gonna want to wait another several years before you attempt these! Oy.} Also, it tends to boil & bubble up violently while cooking. I learned this the hard way during my first attempt at making them. FYI, when it overflows all over your stove and then scorches all over the top of your range, it creates an impressive amount of black smoke and will probably require you to open all your windows. And your kids may or may not start screaming that their eyes are burning & threaten to be sick from the smell. Whatever. I didn't hear them complaining when they were devouring them the next day! :)

What are your go to Christmas gift recipes? Do share!

Christmas Cards {or lack thereof}

I intended on doing Christmas cards this year.

I do them every year.

Then the thought of picking out {and probably buying} matching outfits, finding someone to take our picture when we were all clean and home and dressed and available at the same time, braving Costco {yet again!} to pick them up and spending a small fortune on stamps sort of got me out of the mood real quick!

Then I remembered our World Vision Christmas catalog sitting on the coffee table and the decision seemed like an easy one.

I went to their website and bought some chicks and ducks with that money instead.

Funny how a certain amount of money seems like an outrageous expense for something that will be enjoyed for a week and then thrown in the trash, but that exact same amount of money spent on a few egg layers suddenly feels like pocket change.

**Disclaimer: This was a decision that we made for our family and certainly is not an indictment against those who choose to send Christmas cards. I love getting cards from all of you {and if you sent one, it's hanging in our dining room as I type this}. It's probably equal parts laziness and conviction that led to my decision and don't be surprised if you get a card from us next year. If you get a chance and feel so led, I highly recommend that you visit World Vision's site. It's certainly a most worthy {and amazing!} organization!

Merry Christmas!

Things I Love {Christmas Decorations}

Since I've been a total slacker in the WIWW department, I decided to link up with her Christmas tree party instead this week. :)

So here is our tree in all its {fake!} glory....

The pictures are sort of horrible because of all the back light from the windows...but our neighbor always tells me she likes seeing our tree lit up in those windows at night.

I saw a picture in Country Living of a tree in this metal "bucket" and literally squealed, put the laptop down and ran to the garage! I bought one earlier this year at an estate auction for super cheap and have been waiting for just the right thing to use it for. {Jake tried to confiscate it for the horses because he had just bought one at the feed store for three times what I paid, but I wouldn't let him have it because I knew I would need it one day. Yes, need!}
As a side note, I didn't see that picture until after our tree was up and decorated. As a result, I had to take it all apart and basically un-decorate the entire thing to get it into the bucket {fake trees are a wee bit heavy!}. It was quite a site to behold and one that my husband is profoundly grateful to have missed. It was totally worth it though, don't you think? ;)

And while we're on the subject of Christmas decorations....
I made this wreath last week to hand in our dining room and love it so, so much!
Any guesses as to what it's made out of? Hint: it cost me about $3 in supplies to make!

Things I Love {My Sister}

In case you don't know me in real life, I'd like to share a few things with you:

I have a mentally and physically retarded sister.

Her name is Christie.
Wednesday is her 29th birthday.

I have the worst time trying to come up with gifts for her!

What in the world do you buy someone who can't read and doesn't care a lick about TV or movies? She doesn't carry a purse or wear jewelry. She doesn't drive, use a cell phone or own an ipod.

Because she is a bit wobbly on her feet and her foot is very narrow, she can only wear one kind of shoe {a majorly unattractive white leather tennis shoe I might add. ::shudder:: I mean seriously. Is it too much to ask that they make that shoe in brown?! Believe me, my mom and I have searched high and low and it does not exist.}.

And because of her scoliosis, she can't wear most tops. In fact, the only pull over type t-shirt that will fit her properly {isn't too tight around her back and has a small enough neck hole that it won't fall off of her shoulder} is Gap's "My Favorite T". I am not exaggerating when I tell you she owns every color and pattern they have ever made in both long and short sleeve. Don't get me wrong, they're perfectly fine shirts. However, they're terribly plain. Especially when you wear one every.single.day.

I'm not telling you all of this in order to focus on the things she can't do or have. It's simply to make a point: coming up with decent gift ideas for her is a bit of a struggle.

There are two things in this world that she does really love.

The first thing is Mickey Mouse. However, her room currently resembles the Mickey Mouse section of the World of Disney store in Downtown Disney. If it has Mickey Mouse on it, she owns it already. And her room can only hold so much. Oy.

Secondly, the girl likes to eat. Specifically, Cheetos, In-N-Out Burger {you do not want to drive past one with her in the car unless you plan on stopping. Consider yourself warned.}, hot dogs, and Dibs. And if you don't think there have been years when I gave her a bag of cheetos and a Hot Dog on a Stick gift card, you'd be wrong. She's always very appreciative, but it's not a terribly inspiring gift.

So to make a long story short {or not}, this is what we gave her this year for her birthday...

...two of those previously plain Gap T-shirts with a bit of added loveliness.

They can't compete with Cheetos, but they got a big smile! I call that a success.

P.S. Another day I'll share some of my most favorite Christie & Lauren stories. Let's just say Lauren takes her self-appointed role as Christie's keeper very seriously. It makes for some mighty funny moments. It also makes me laugh to myself when I imagine what Christie must be thinking as Lauren micro-manages her every move. :)

Jack-O-Lanterns

We decided today was a nice day for carving pumpkins. We grew these {and several others....although not as many as last year} ourselves. Translated: 20+ pumpkins cost us about 10 cents.

I about choke when I see what pumpkin patches charge for one measly pumpkin. I think we're in the wrong business!!
Gutting the pumpkins was both girls' favorite part. Or not.

Lauren with her Jack-O-Lantern.

Isn't this the most attractive picture you've ever seen someone post of themselves on their blog? Whatever. I'm going to the gym later. Probably.

Emma and Paige.

Lauren's, Emma's, mine.

We're a creative bunch, no? :)

{In my defense, I don't have one of those fancy pumpkin carving knives so I had to make do with my Cutco paring knife. I'm just glad - and somewhat amazed - that I didn't lose a finger...or three.}

What I Wore Wednesday {Week 3}

Thursday: New tires at Costco! Oh joy! ;)

• Black Sweater: Gap Outlet {recently}
• Purple Cami: Old Navy
• Levi's: Costco {recently}
• Zebra Print Flats: Target {Spring}
• Necklace {that you can't even see!}: Lisa Leonard
• Silver Flower Ring {that you also can't see!}: Hume gift shop {recently}
  
  

  Friday: Em's follow up appointment with the neurologist at Valley Children's. It went great and we don't go back for 6 months as long as she doesn't have another seizure! Praise the Lord!

• Top {or inappropriately short dress??}: Old Navy {yeeeeeears ago!}
• Sweater: TJ Maxx
• Levi's: Costco {told you I would wear them all.the.time.}
• Yellow Flats: Target {on clearance, recently}
• Necklace: Lisa Leonard
• Yellow Flower Ring: Hume gift shop {recently}

Saturday: Pre-season Condors {Hockey} Game! We're all just a wee bit excited that hockey season is back!

• Sweater: Gap Outlet {recently}
• Tank: Gap Outlet {recently}
• Trouser Jeans: Gap {yeeeears ago!}
• Flats: Target {Spring}
• Braided Fabric Necklace: Made by Me {Too bad you can't see it! blerg}

Sunday: Missionfest at church

• Purple Dress: Gap Outlet {recently}
• Leggings: Target
• Sandals: Banana Republic Outlet {yeeears ago}
• Necklace: Lisa Leonard
• Bracelets: Birthday gift from a friend

Monday: First day of Living History Camp for Emma. Lauren and I had dentist appointments. I could write a whole post about how much we love our dentist, but I'll spare you. Suffice it to say, Lauren could hardly sleep she was so excited about going and we both had cleanings and were still out of the office 30 minutes after our appointment time. I know. You're jealous.

• Dress: Gap {on clearance this summer}
• Sweater: TJ Maxx
• Flip Flops: Target {couple of summers ago}
• Necklace: Lisa Leonard

Tuesday: Second day of Living History Camp.

• Top: Gap Outlet
• Jeans: You guessed it!! ;)
• Flip Flops: Old Navy
• Headband: Made by me!
• Necklace: Lisa Leonard
  
  Thanks for humoring me and leaving sweet comments, even though this is a wee bit crazy. :) I'm linking up with Lindsey over at The Pleated Poppy! Won't you join us?

What I Wore Wednesday {Week 2}

I only have 3 pictures this week because I was at a women's retreat at Hume Lake for 3 days {yipee!}. And if I'm being completely honest, I didn't get dressed on Monday. I was tired and didn't feel great. I don't think anyone needs a picture of that! You're welcome.

Last Wednesday....Enrichment classes for the girls.

Sundress: Gap outlet...couple of years ago.

Sandals: Gap....couple of years ago.

Only in Kern County could I have worn this dress on Wednesday {and sweat to death in it} and then, less than one week later..... ...it's cold and raining! This was Tuesday and I took dinner to our piano teacher who just had a sweet baby boy. I'll be honest, I would have worn yoga pants all day this day if not for the fact that I knew I only had 3 pictures for this week and I didn't one of them to be of me in that outfit! :)

Jeans: Levi's from Costco...these are my new favorites and you will be seeing them a lot! Super comfortable! I just bought them last week so, if you hurry....

Top: Gap outlet....$3 on Friday {we always stop and shop at the outlets on our way to Hume and the Gap outlet was a hit this year! LOTS of clearance and we had coupons! :)}

{Mr. Rogers} Sweater: Target....$12 on the clearance rack, recently.

Flats: Target....$10 in the spring.
Necklace: Lisa Leonard

Today! Enrichment classes for the girls.

Jeans: Gap in SLO....$8 last year. I wear them way too much and they really need to be retired. They used to be dark blue. But, I love them so! ;)

Top: Gap outlet....$4 on Friday!
Same {Mr. Rogers} Sweater as yesterday!

Black flats: Target....$10 in the spring.

Necklace: Lisa Leonard

Yellow, leather flower ring: Hume gift shop....$6! Love!

Close-up of the braiding detail on the shirt and my ring!

I'm linking up with Lindsey again!

Until next week....

What I Wore Wednesday {Week 1}

I decided to jump on the "What I Wore Wednesday" bandwagon so I'm linking up with Lindsey over at The Pleated Poppy! I've been following WIWW for several weeks now, but always forget to take pix {because my mirror is in Em's room while our room is still under construction}...but now I have enough saved up to do a respectable {?} post! ;)

I love the reasons Lindsey gives for why she started this link party....you can read them over at her blog if you're so inclined. I also love discovering that most of us moms/wives buy the majority of our clothes at Target, that nobody really loves to take awkwardly posed pictures of themselves while trying to figure out whether or not to smile or make eye contact, and that most of us spend at least some of our days in yoga pants and a t-shirt.

Ok, enough chit chat. On with the show...

This outfit is actually from our "first day of {not} back to school".

Top: I bought the actual T-shirt at a local grocery store for...99 cents! {I swear this was the first time I've ever purchased clothes at the grocery store!! ;)} I cut the "collar" off to make it more of a scoop neck and cut the sleeves to make them cap sleeves. I used those extra pieces to make the cute little flowers. It took {maybe} 20 minutes total! {I actually didn't come up with this....I saw a tutorial on a blog, but can't remember which one! Sorry to whoever it was....I think you're brilliant!}

Skirt: Old Navy....$1.99....a couple of summers ago

Sparkly, gold flip flops: Target...a couple of years ago

Necklace: Heartstrings by Lisa Leonard

Close-up of the 99 cent shirt!

Dress: Gap {in SLO}....this summer.
Headband: made by me

Top: Target....clearance rack earlier in the summer
Cardigan: Gap outlet....last year
Leggings: Target.
Necklace: Lisa Leonard

I wore this outfit to church on Sunday and have to laugh because a {very sweet} older lady in our congregation said, "Ooooh, Cheri! You look like a teeny-bopper!" Umm, thank you? I know for a fact {because I know her} that this was a compliment, but I couldn't help but wonder if "teeny-bopper" is really the look I want to convey! ;) Anyway...
Tank: Target...long time ago
Skirt: Target....$5 on clearance rack after Christmas last year
Sandals: Banana republic outlet....couple of summers ago
Necklace: Lisa Leonard
Bracelets: Birthday gift from a friend. :)


See you next week!

I know most {probably all} of you are also my friend on facebook and already know about everything we went through a couple of weeks ago. However, this is my attempt to sort my thoughts and clear up any questions that might be lingering about what exactly happened {not that we actually even know!}.

We have two girls. Two healthy girls. Two girls who haven't even been to a doctor in nearly 2 years. They are never sick. Sure, we get the occasional cold, bouts of seasonal allergies and maybe even a 24 hour flu now and then. In my opinion, nothing that a few extra movies, a nap on the couch and a cup-o-noodle won't fix. Maybe it's because I have a sister who has spent much of her life in a hospital or doctor's office, but I am just not a run-to-the-doctor kind of person. I'm grateful for them, but we just don't need them very often.

We've been very, very blessed.

On Labor Day, the girls and I went to the gym in the morning, we ran some errands, we went to Target and each girl picked out a new outfit to wear on their first day of enrichment {that Wednesday}, we ran home and ate lunch and then Emma had her piano lesson. We finally got home in the late afternoon and both the girls went to try on their new outfits. To say they were deliriously excited would be an understatement. This momma usually picks out all of their clothes. This time, I bit my tongue {rather hard} and let them choose whatever they wanted {and they did not go straight to the clearance rack. Proof that frugality is not genetic. sigh.}. They paraded around the living room, modeling their new clothes and backpacks.

And then, just like that, everything changed.

Emma had a seizure.

I still start shaking when I think about it, even now. How fast it happened. How we went from a perfect day to 911 in a matter of seconds, literally! Providentially, Jake had just walked in the door from work as it started to happen. I'll never forget the look on his face when he came running into the living room after I screamed for him. And I am so thankful that the Lord waited brought Jake home when He did. I can't imagine what I would have done alone...

I've had to go over the details of this day so many times with the fireman, paramedics, Memorial ER nurses and doctors, another set of paramedics, and the dozens of doctors, nurses and specialists at Valley Children's that I wanted to tape record it just so I wouldn't have to say it one more time. They all ask the same thing. "What happened?" And the most frustrating part for me is the only answer I can give, "I don't know!! She was completely fine just seconds before!" And then I'd go into a minute-by-minute run down of her day..."We went to the gym! Nobody said she fell or hit her head! Maybe she fell?! She was wearing new, not pre-washed clothes! Maybe there was a chemical or something on the clothes?! She gathered the eggs from our chicken coop just before it happened! I know I told her to make sure she washed her hands! Maybe she didn't?!" But of course, none of those things were it. Those were just a momma trying to make some sense out of something that just didn't seem to make any sense! There is a part of me that wishes I could say that she had complained of a headache, that she was just recovering from the flu or even a cold or that she had recently taken a fall. I wish there was something that might explain why. In my human-ness, I feel like if I had some reason, I might be able to prevent it....or at least be better able to predict it, should it ever happen again.

She was first taken from home to Memorial Hospital. I believe {I have to} that her ER doctor took this very seriously and did whatever he knew possible to do to try and figure out what was happening to our little girl. He was not one of those belligerent, know it all doctors. He didn't ignore us, her parents. He told us over and over again that we were welcome to stay by her side the entire time. We never felt like we were "in the way". I could tell by the way he talked to Emma {she was completely out of it during the entire stay due to the anti seizure drugs they administered in the ambulance} that he wanted desperately for her to open her eyes and be alright. I know from the way he immediately reassured us that she would be in much more capable hands at Valley that he had correctly read our looks of panic after telling us that she would be transported there. However, he attempted and failed {three times} to do a spinal tap on Emma to rule out meningitis. Three spinal taps that lead to days of agonizing pain for our girl. Three spinal taps that weren't necessary because she never had a fever and therefore, could not have had meningitis. Hindsight....

I honestly don't even know what time it was when Emma and I left Memorial in the ambulance with a paramedic, an RN and an EMT headed for Valley Children's. It was dark outside. {This is how much of the next 4 days passed....no concept of time or days...} Jake had left us at Memorial when he knew the transport team was on the way so that he could run by the house and pack us a few clothes. Emphasis on few. {Note to self: be really specific. If you want socks, say you want socks. ;)} We were taken into the ER at Valley and Emma was assessed by a few doctors and it was decided that she would be admitted {although they weren't so much deciding if to admit her, but rather where...originally we were told she could possibly go to the ICU.} I do know that this was at about 1 am. I know this because as we were parked outside of what was to be her room, she finally woke up! It had been a very long 9 hours of pleading with her to open her eyes. Of course, she was still in a drug induced fog and immediately panicked and began sobbing, asking where we were and why. Mostly, she wanted to know what day it was because she hoped that she hadn't missed enrichment. She remembered she had a cute, new outfit to wear. :)

I will write another post about how we feel about Valley Children's and the Ronald McDonald House. It's still too overwhelming right now. {In a good way.} Those are both amazing places and we were beyond blessed to be able to take advantage of them. {And I have a few ideas for how we - you, too! - can give back to them. Because I feel like that's a big part of what we learned in these places...there are needs and it's so, so easy for us to do something to help meet them!}

During our 3 day stay at Valley, Emma had an EEG and an MRI. We met with the neurologist that will be monitoring Emma from now on. We still don't know what caused this. There is something that showed up on the MRI that they're looking at a little more closely.

They told us not to worry. We're trying.

In the meantime, we have a medication {Lorazepam} that we are to give to Emma in the event of another seizure. So our lives have changes a little. We watch her a little more closely {although a little less everyday....and by "little less" I mean I let her out of my sight for 10 minutes at a time now, instead of trying to wear her in a sling. I call this progress.}, we let other adults know what to look for.

We pray. We pray more fervently, more thankfully.

See, we didn't anticipate this. We weren't prepared for it.

Our God was.

He wasn't caught off guard. He wasn't thrown for a loop. He knew before the very foundation of the world that this would happen.

He was right here in our living room as it happened, He was in the back of that ambulance with Emma {and in the front seat with me keeping me from coming out of my skin listening to the siren wail as we sped to the hospital}, He was listening as {what seems like} every person we know and many that we have never met hit their knees and pleaded for Emma on our behalf {Another aspect of this that is still too overwhelming to talk about. Just know that if you're one of those people, we are grateful beyond words.}.

And He knows if it's going to happen again. We don't. The doctors don't. He does.

Every week in church we recite, as a congregation, the Apostle's Creed. It's basically a summary statement of all the things we believe to be true about our faith.

The very first line is, "I believe in God the Father, Almighty, maker of heaven and earth..". I think the explanation of this line as found in our Heidelberg Catechism explains what I'm feeling about my God, especially in this situation, better than I can. It's how I'm able to have hope and trust Him to take care of Emma {better than I or any doctor ever could}.

"What do you mean when you say, 'I believe in God the Father, Almighty, maker of heaven and earth'?

That the eternal Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who of nothing made heaven and earth and all that in them is,

who likewise upholds and governs the same by His eternal counsel and providence,

is for the sake of Christ, His Son, my God and my Father,

in whom I so trust, as to have no doubt that He will provide me with all things necessary for body and soul,

and further, that whatever evil He sends upon me in this vale of tears,

He will turn to my good;

for He is able to do it, being Almighty God,

and willing also, being a faithful Father."

And one of the proof texts for this is Matthew 6:26 {a verse that I heard Jake telling Emma often at the hospital when she would start to panic and get upset}..."Look at the birds of the air, that they do not sow, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not worth much more than they?"

On October 8, we return to Valley to meet with the neurologist. We hope to have a few more answers about what he saw on the MRI and where we go from here.

But our real hope, our real peace comes from the knowledge that our faithful Father formed Emma's very being and He is not puzzled by any irregular MRI.

A {Free!} Gift

There is a {fantastic} deal going on right now at One King's Lane!

Just create an account with them and automatically get a $15 credit to spend on whatever your little heart desires! I just bought the 2 square baking dishes pictured above for the cost of shipping {$7.95}!

Run, don't walk!

I logged on again 10 minutes later and there are already several that say "Sold Out".

I love finding great {free!} Christmas gifts!!

You can also get another $15 credit for every friend that sings up and purchases something with their credit!

Happy shopping!